Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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