I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize