We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
