would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize