she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
