CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
