how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
