..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
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