One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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