Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
