So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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