I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just sucked dick on a ferry
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
