Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize