Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
