I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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