Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel great
I just peed on a car
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
please come you make the beer taste better
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
