oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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