that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
