Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
soo... how was my night?
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