i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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