The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize