As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
