I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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