There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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