Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Of course I have a pirate flag
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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