i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
