3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
