No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
