yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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