youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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