I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
