I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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