take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize