Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
