my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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