I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
