Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
