life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
