Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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