I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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