i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
