I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
