I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
