I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
