hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
