I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize