he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Never joke about your clitoris.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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