Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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