Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize