So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
