I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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