Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Drunk is not a location!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
