FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
