she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
