Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
