Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
