her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
