The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize