Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
