We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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