omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
