Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
