Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize