Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
