If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
