I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize