so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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