i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
